Do it now

April 16, 2009

A little over two weeks ago my grandmother passed away. It was expected, but for some reason the expectedness didn’t make the pain go away (like I was anticipating). This is my first grandparent to die and really the first person I have lost that I was close to. In so many ways, it is a relief to know her pain is ended and her vivacious soul is no longer stuck in bed, but it is also an empty feeling to know that spot in my heart where she lives will have no new memories added to it. I will always be grateful that I got to laugh with her on her last good day.

For some reason, after she died and through the funeral and still now, about once a day something my grandpa said to me years ago comes flooding back. It was shortly after Mike and I got married and I had called him to tell him happy birthday,¬† we were just chatting and he said, “Do everything you can while you are young, because when you get older, the desire doesn’t go away, only the ability.” I have no idea why that memory has stuck with me. If you know my grandfather, you know he is FULL of quotes…(another famous one being “If you pound and pound upon the ketchup bottle…none’ll come, and then a lotta’ll” – less deep, but still very quotable!)

I guess as I think of her spending her last months in bed with only her mind, I can’t help but wonder what she thought about. What did she regret? What was she most proud of? Was there anything she always wanted to do, but never got the chance? Who did she wish she would have kept in touch with? All those things that I think I will wonder about. So I am trying to wonder about them now. What an amazing journey through life it would be to come to the end and be able to say “I am ready.”

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4 Responses to “Do it now”

  1. Liz Says:

    This is kinda related–I saw a list of 10 questions to ask your mom before she’s gone in Real Simple mag this month. They were so interesting. I just need to work up the courage to ask them to my mom! Anyway, so sorry about your grandmother. I had a recent scare with my grandpa’s health that got me thinking about all that fun death stuff. I think it’s contributed to my little quarter-life crisis. Your grandpa is a smart man!

  2. bethany Says:

    So true! Love your blog friend! You always make me think & put things in perspective! I always look forward to your posts!

  3. Carrie Says:

    We had a lot of great laughs with her! We were lucky to have her in our lives and could learn a lot from her. The quotes from Big One are great….we could write a book! Especially about raising children….”you can use the same book to raise a child as they use to train bird dogs.” He is something else!

  4. Pam Bandy Says:

    I really enjoy your blog. He told me the bird dog quote. I also think it’s true! Love you.


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