Bucket O’ Guilt

May 13, 2009

I hate feeling guilty. Almost as much as I hate feeling convicted.

I have this vision in my head of what I want my life to look like and feel like, how I want my kids to be raised and my marriage to grow. I can see it in my head and I can describe it with words, but I don’t know how to go about getting there.

“What I believe is not what I say I believe; what I believe is what I do.” (Blue Like Jazz) I read this and it was  like a bucket of guilt was hovering above my head waiting for me to get to this line and then it poured  itself out on top of me. I have been slimed. I need to come up with my plan and then take some action steps to get there.

1. I want to be part of a community. A community of friends and neighbors that helps each other and supports each other. People to take food to when a new baby joins the family or to mow their yard when you know it is just more then they can handle. To invite them over just so we all can remember we are not alone.

2. I want my kids to be raised to be compassionate. I want them to know how fortunate we are and that it is our responsibility to help those who need help.

3. I want our family to be a strong unit. For all of us to go to bed with out a doubt in our minds that we will always be whole.

Really, those are the main points.

Action Steps:

1. Invite families over more. Talk to my neighbors. (it is hard to feel motivated to talk to my neighbors right now since I know we are moving again in November and also the people next door scare me.) Put ourselves out there and take some risks.

2. I have got to find somewhere to volunteer. I think I have talked about this before, but it is harder than you would think. I really would like to find something I can do with my kids because, well, they are always with me and I want them to learn how important it is. My mom made me start volunteering on a regular basis when I was a freshman in high school to help combat my teenage egomania and it was one of the best parenting moves she ever made.

3. Mike and I need to make more of an effort to spend time alone. To get dressed up and go on a date and eat a meal while it is still warm. As a family, we actually are pretty good about connecting and sharing our daily adventures.

Okay, now that this is typed out, it doesn’t seem as daunting.

I just want to make sure we are caught up in the right things. Focused on the important stuff. Living a life of purpose. Ya know… all those cliche saying that motivational posters are made of.

As my mom would say, “Make good choices.” (actually she only says this to Evyn, so either, I am the golden child or a lost cause.)

If anyone has any good volunteer ideas, I would love to hear them.


6 Responses to “Bucket O’ Guilt”

  1. Jodee Wilsdorf Says:


    There is a nursing home/assisted living where our Care Group has volunteered before as we are a young group with lots of little kids. It is very kid friendly and those old people love to have the little ones around! I also know some families who go there and volunteer some too. It’s nice as they are so welcoming. A lot of places (like soup kitchens, etc.) don’t want children involved in the volunteering until they are over 6 we have found. I don’t remember the name of the nursing home, but I can let you know if you are interested.

    Also – okay I’ll harp on this – you have already done POM, so get your paperwork turned in so you can be assigned to a Mini Church & Care Group. That truly is the BEST involvement you can get I feel. Allows you to feel so connected to other families/people. If you want – request on your paperwork that you would like the Kreitzer Mini Church & Beasley Care Group. That is the one we are in and we love it. We’ve been shifted around a few times for various reasons that I won’t go into, but finally landed here and it is so nice. You’ll know some people right off the bat as a lot are in Moms & Tots as members and Mentor Mom. Okay, that’s my two cents!


    • Cori Says:

      Thanks Jodee, I will look into the nursing home idea. I have one and they were going to “check” but never called me back, but I need to try another location! About the Mini Church…We are still kind of deciding what we are going to be doing about church. BUT I love Moms and Tots and am excited to get to know those girls more!

  2. bethany Says:

    I feel the exact same way! I want my kiddos (no they aren’t born yet…but you know what I mean) to know how to give back. We are blessed in so many ways and I don’t want to raise children who take that for granted.

    Nursing home? I know their faces would light up to see your sweet kiddos!

    BTW – I love Blue Like Jazz… read it last summer and made me do so much thinking. I think I would be friends with Donald if he lived by me…And Kristin…but we already know that:)

  3. Carissa Miller Says:

    I know what you mean about wanting to volunteer and make a difference but not being able to because of the kids! A woman at my church has started a Women’s Ministry where young women who have unwanted pregnancies can come and learn about how to be good mothers. They earn “points” for taking classes about motherhood and then they can use those points to shop for necessities in a store (that has been made up of donated items) for anything and everything they would need….clothes, cribs, car seats, etc….I think this is such a wonderful ministry and I would love to volunteer but can’t with the kids! I think it is definitely something I want to do when they all get school age. Anyways, if you find something that is kid-friendly, let me know and we will totally go with you.

  4. Martha Says:

    This looks promising, http://www.voaok.org

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