November 5, 2009

Evie leaves today. So, of course, I am crying as I write. Having our family together, seeing grandparents, eating dinner together every night is such a reminder of how loved we are. I am lucky that myself, Mike and especially our kids have so many people in our lives that care about us.

Scott has started to become very aware of people he feels “safe” with. In the last couple of weeks, he has made little comments like, “Don’t tell anyone I was ___, they might think I am silly. But you can tell my Dad because he lives at my house.” This morning we had a whole discussion about where he will live when he is a grown up. I don’t know what made him think of it, but he asked me, “When I am a grown up, can I still live with you?” I paused to think of how to answer and said, “Well, you can, but you will probably want to live with your family in different house, like how we live in a different house but we live close to Mimi and Poppy so we can spend lots of time with them and when you grow up, you can live with your family but live by me and Daddy so you can see us when ever you want and we can babysit your kids (see how I am already brainwashing planting the seed!).” He thought about it and replied, “That will okay. I will live by you and Tots will live by you, and we can live by Mimi and Poppy and then we can all still be together.”

In some ways, this new self awareness breaks my heart. He is to young to feel self consicous and to censor himself for others. On the other hand, I know he feels like our house is a haven. A place where he can be himself, run around in his underwear and be a pirate. A place where he is loved no matter what. I hope he always feels that way. I know I do. I still get homesick sometimes.


One Response to “Haven”

  1. Liz Says:

    After reading that, I am crying right along with you!

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