Thump Thump

July 22, 2010

I wasn’t going to talk about this on my blog because when it comes to serious “stuff” I am a pretty private person. I don’t necessarily mind people knowing, but I am more of a deal with it as it comes and move on type person and constant questions are only reminders. Now that I have scared you out of ever asking me a private question again…

I would like to give a shout out to all the mommas (and dads and grandparents and siblings) who have children with health problems. It has to be one of those things that you can never in a million years explain to someone who has never gone through it. A few of you know about Scott’s heart murmur and the testing and MRIs and ECHOs and chest xrays and drama that we dealt with surrounding that a couple of years ago. Now it is little Nate’s turn. Basically, he has always had a faint murmur, but at his 2 year check up, the pediatrician said it was much more prominent and wants to have the pediatric cardiologist check him out. My stomach turned to knots when she said this. Honestly, not because I think anything is majorly wrong with Nate, but because the testing and the waiting and the testing and the waiting is horrible and I don’t want to go through it all again.

I went into the ECHO (basically a heart ultrasound) appointment both kids in tow feeling fine until I had to lay Nate down and keep him still. He was just looking up at me with his tan cheeks and white hair being so patient and saying, “All done now Mama. All done.”  His tiny heart was beating on a huge screen in front of my face and I had to choke back tears. It was like looking at little Scott all over again.

Is there anything worse than feeling helpless when it comes to your kids? Is there any thing worse than not being able to fix it?

Scott was fine. Nate will be fine. But it still keeps me up at night. And my problems are teeny tiny compared to so many others.

So to the parents of kids with autism and cystic fibrosis and cancer and severe food allergies… You are amazing. We (myself very much included) will never be able to understand the day to day wondering if your child will be okay. I am sure the constant worry about every decision is more than we can even begin to imagine. I hope you are able to ask for help when you need it and I hope that as fellow parents we are supporting you. From one mom to another, you are super mom’s in my book.

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3 Responses to “Thump Thump”

  1. Holley Says:

    Cori- You are absolutely precious. Looking beyond your moment and thinking of others is remarkable.I will be thinking and praying for your Nate and for the family! love…

  2. Cori Says:

    Thank you Holley!

  3. carissa Says:

    So sorry you had to go through this again! Thinking about you guys. Please let me know if we can do anything. Why didn’t you call me?!?! Scott could have come over so you didn’t have to take them both!


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