Girls have Virginias

July 26, 2012

Soooo… It was an interesting night….

So far, my stance on sex ed has been on a need-to-know basis. If a question is asked, I answer it honestly. I have been asked, “Where do babies come out of your belly?” And I have answered. So far, no one has asked how a baby gets IN your belly. Last night, the boys were being boys and hiding a bouncy ball spasticly from each other while the other one guessed where it was, of course the it soon ended up hiding in underwear. They started yelling something about PP’s (our short cut for penis) then they just started full on yelling PENIS! PENIS! My mistake was intervening…

Me: Guys, penis isn’t a bad word, but it is a private word. It isn’t something that I want you to run around yelling because you are talking about your super private areas and we don’t talk about our private bodies with people that aren’t the 4 of us. Got it?

Boys: GOT IT!

Nate: Girls don’t have pp’s.

Me: Nope they don’t.

Scott: What do girls call their private areas?

Me: (deep breath, stay natural, deep breath) Girls call their private area vagina.

Silence

Nate: Girls have a VIRGINIA! That is so funny! It is like a VIRGINIA!

Scott: (cracking up) Oh man, virginia! VIRGINIA!!!!

Me: (having a deep internal battle, do I let it go? Because how hilarious is this?!) Guys, chill out. The word is vagina and it is also a private word, so please QUIT SCREAMING ABOUT IT!

I am sure this will be repeated in public sometime soon so put earmuffs on your kids if you frequent Target and Whole Foods.

Speaking of Virginias

Nate decided to turn into a 14 yr old girl for about 30 minutes. Some how in the bath tub, Scott’s eye got scratched and he was “going blind” so I quickly got both the kids out to ease the drama. To set the scene, No one was in trouble. I didn’t yell. I just said, “Time to get out.”

Nate: (laying on the ground with his head in his hands fake crying) I need a new family! No one in this family loves me. I am going to live with a family that likes me.

Me: Umm, Nate, what just happened here? No one is upset at you.

Nate: I want to live with a new mom and a new family. None of you love me. Everyone is mean to me. 

Me: I am so confused right now. What is going on? 

Nate: (fake whimpering)

Me: (time to change tactics) Nate, if you had a new mom, she wouldn’t know your secret handshake… I would be so sad if I didn’t have you.

Nate: (looking up with dramatic eyes) I can teach it to her (and I am not kidding he really said this…) DUH!

Me: Okay, well, I would love to read to you before you go to bed, but if you want to lay in my closet and be sad, that is up to you. PS, I hope you don’t go to a new family, we would be super sad.

Nate: Ughhhhhhh….. (comes out 10 minutes later and acted like nothing happened)

RANDOM.

I really hope he doesn’t start turning into a 14 yr old girl very often, because I was really excited to have boys and skip all that drama. 

PS Vagina is a super creepy word and so are all the other words to use instead of vagina so feel free to just start saying Virginia because I definitely will be. 

Never a dull moment. Ever.

4 yrs and 7 days

July 17, 2012

Nate is 4!

(and 7 days)

Nate-

Everyday you make us laugh out loud. You are kind and you are fast runner. You love knights and pretending and Scott. You amaze me with how smart you are. You went off the diving board, the slide, and the high dive for the first time all within two days. You decided you were going to do it and you did. You are brave and strong and your smile lights up a room. Thank you for being ours. I’m glad I don’t have to share you for a long time (although, you do already have your wife picked out, but you promised me that you won’t get married until after college). I love you Nate Keener. I love you higher than the heavens and deeper than the seas.

Thanks Mimi and Poppy!

 

All about Nate.

Every time we have gone to Target in the last year you have looked at the GI Joe cake and said, “I want that on my birthday!”

 

For Nate’s birthday, he let me off easy. He wanted to go to Big Daddy’s for dinner and wanted a store bought cake, I felt bad for about 30 seconds. We had a super healthy day of donuts for breakfast, a hot dog and slushy for lunch, and dessert at the pool. He went down the slide over 30 times at the pool! You got a castle and knights, a knight costume, and a new board game. Happy Birthday Nate, we love celebrating you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It really is a treat

June 29, 2012

Day one

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On our way to Fisherman’s Warf, we accidentally visited Nob Hill, China Town, and North Point. What? You can’t tell I’m in Nob Hill?! I look like I am in down town Tulsa taking a self pic?! Oh! That’s because I have awesome photo skills.

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San Francisco sour dough… Ghost Mike is in the background.

Better get going… On my way to ALCATRAZ!

Oh geez

June 22, 2012

Any bets on how this is going to end?!

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I have found this summer, by about 3pm… We are ALL done playing nice. Including me. We are all three pretty tired of each other.

I finally got tired of yelling “Quit fighting!!” and changed it to a super compassionate… “Someone is going to get hurt and when it happens, I’m not going to care. You have been warned…. Carry on crazy people, carry on.”

And the first one to cry??? Nate takes the prize! I actually had my money on Scott.

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Speaking of Changas

June 20, 2012

I have been in blog avoidance because the thought of catching up on the last 6 mths stresses me out. And then I thought, “Hey Cori, just pretend like the last 6 mths didn’t happen!” And then I thought, “Wow Cori, you are super smart! I am going with your plan!”

I have memories in my head and heart and iphone. That will do for now.

Soooo…. Nate has been on this big kick of randomly saying… “Speaking of ____” and it is usually just followed by a normal sentence. IE “Speaking of grapes, can we go jump on the trampoline?”

On Sunday in the car he said, “Speaking of chimi-chaaaang-as… What is a Changa?” It has been cracking me up all week.

That gem of a story has nothing to do with the rest of this blog.

Sunday was Father’s Day! I decided to actually do a Pinterest project (my first one out of my 5 million pins).

I mean is there anything cuter than asking kids questions you know they will say funny things to? I think not. Although, Scott is reaching the kids-don’t-say-the-darndest-things age. As you will note from his page (that I didn’t let him fill out on his own because it would take to long, bad mom), we have a height correction. He was very stressed out that he was going to get a question wrong. I told him do not under any circumstances ask your dad the questions to check your answers. IT IS A SURPRISE. Scott walk up to Mike:

S: Dad, how tall are you?

M: 6 ft. 

S: turns to look at me with big crazy eyes, walks over and whispers….. I’m going to need my paper back.

Scott also made sure his picture included such details as “those red dots on dad’s arms”. Nate decided to draw a picture of a botser (monster robot) being destroyed.

Lazy Laundry

December 13, 2011

If you leave a huge pile of laundry on the floor long enough, it becomes a toy! See, I totally did that on purpose….

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All of the sudden Scott is a too cool six year old. It began over Thanksgiving break…

Humiliation Scene #1

Tootsie Roll came on the radio and OF COURSE Mike and I turned it up and started dancing. Scott is in the back yelling, “People are going to start staring at you.” “Seriously, they are going to STARE. Seriously guys, they will stare because you are being weird.”

So OF COURSE, we turn it up louder and OF COURSE we pull in to the parking lot of the movie theater and Mike rolls all the windows down, turns it up louder and gets out of the car and starts dancing. Actually, I was a little embarrassed by Mike’s roger rabbit, but I went with it.

Humiliation Scene #2

I was going running after I took Scott to school on Thursday so I was wearing my running clothes when I dropped him off (like 95% of  the other moms dropping off)… While getting out of the car:

Scott: What are you wearing?

Me: Ummm, my running clothes (that you have seen me in a million times)

Scott: Are you wearing those into school?

Me: Ummm, well, I am dropping you off while wearing them sooooo…. Is something wrong?

Scott: (audible sigh and eye roll) It’s just a little weird.

Me: Oh babe… I hate to tell you this, but if you are embarrassed by running clothes, you have a LONG road of humiliation in store for yourself.

Scott: (looking at me like I really am weird)

Me: (looking at Scott like I know I am weird and couldn’t care less)

Scene #3

I got bored while Mike was out of town last week and decided to cut some bangs one night. The next morning…

Scott: What is going on with your hair?

Me: I cut it. Do you like?

Scott: It’s a little weird.

Me: Thank you.

Scott: I mean… you kind of look like a teenager… but a weird one.

Me: All I heard was I look like a teenager.

Scott: Uhhhhh.

In the words of my friend Carissa Miller (while cracking up), “If he is going to be a kid that gets embarrassed easily, he was definitely born to the wrong parents!”

I love you Scott. I apologize in advance for all the embarrassing moments in your future.

A picture of your adorableness that you will find embarrassing in the future. PS I have TONS embarrassing pics that I will bust out at any given moment.