Redbox Rental Rage

May 30, 2009

Things I learned this week:

1. I think I am allergic to my toothpaste. Every time I brush, my tongue feels kind of numb and itchy, and yet, I have yet to go buy a new toothpaste.

2. The house across the street from us (well, horizontally across, caddy corner if you will) is for sale for $392,000!!! If you have ever been to my house, you know how insane that is. Insane in the membrane. This neighborhood is so weird. The house next door to us is basically at meth lab status and would probably sell for $100,000 (and that is only because someone would want the lot). And the house next door to meth lab is brand new and listed at $592,000. Then our house (we are renting) was bought a couple of years ago for around $130,000. It is all a little much.

*Edit: The sign is now out of her yard, so she must have realized when everyone who called laughed at her, that it was a little crazy.

3. I have decided to coin a term Redbox Rental Rage. I understand that the movies are only a dollar so you have to deal with some inconvenience. But people, come on. There is a huge line and the people at the box are going through movie by movie, discussing, reading reviews, discussing, starting a new search, discussing. All I have to do is return a rental, but still, I have to stand in line. It makes me get all itchy just thinking about it. Redbox Rental Rage.

4. Riverside has but up bat houses! Go Tulsa! Get your green on!

5. I am glad swim lessons are over.

6. How to make sushi! We made it and it was a success. We only made safe sushi, with crab and smoked salmon, nothing raw yet, that still makes me a little nervous. (Thanks Martha and Jeremy for the tutorial!)

What did you learn this week?


Man Boobs

May 8, 2009

Older men and egos.

Today I was running and was at the turn around point and stopped to stretch my calf before heading towards home and this man run past and says:

Man: I thought you were going to TRY to out run me. (arrogant smirk)

Me: (sarcastic smile) Oh, hahaha. (inner monologue…. “You better watch yourself old man, I am about to smack that jiggle right out of those man boobs.”)

Then I let him far enough ahead that he probably felt good about himself and then I ran. I ran past him and in a fake cheerleader voice I said:

Have a great day!

Man: Grunt. Snort.

Me: Ya, know, if you picked up your feet more when you ran it would help your stride and probably improve your speed.

(okay I totally made up the last line, but it was on the tip of my tongue) And then I ran. I ran hard all the way home.  So hard that when I got to my street to walk for my cool down I could hardly breathe. It felt wonderful. It was like he was my breaking point, anything inside that had been eating at me was gone.

I have found that older men do not like to be passed by girls. Guys my ageish when passed usually give the 3 fingered wave or smile and nod but (most) older men, not so much. When you pass them and say “Good Morning.” They stare straight ahead like they don’t see you and grunt. The best though, is when they do their faux sprint (I swear to you, I am not making this up, this has happened to me several times) the faux sprint goes like this:

Me-pass the man.

Man- grunt. waits a couple beats and starts sprinting. Man passes me and then sprints for about 100 more yards and then usually the man starts walking because he is on the verge of heart failure or at the very least resumes pre-sprint pace.

This results in me re-passing them in a minute or so, but it is like they have to make sure you know, if they run to the point of over excurtion, they can pass you and hold on to it for 2.3 seconds. Next time this happens, I am thinking about racing.

*Side Note: I am not trying to imply that I am a super runner or anything of that sort. Because I am not. Plenty of people pass me.

**Double Side Note: Passing a man while visibly pregnant, is even more irritating to him.

Learning Curve

April 11, 2009

Things I learned this week:

1. Blue Cross Blue Shield has awesome on hold music. AT&T has horrible on hold music.

2. You should always always always keep the lid on the blender while blending a green smoothie. I learned this the hard way. (green all over my face, shirt, ceiling, cabinets….I am not exaggerating, I couldn’t open my eyes until I felt my way to the sink and washed my face off)

3. Nate has developed the cutest case of bedhead in Tulsa County (maybe world wide).

4. People who run in packs are annoying (you know who you are Fleet Feeters). I was being forced off the path onto the grass so the pack could run five across and a gazillion deep. BUT I learned that if you are passing them and keep screaming “On your left” over and over through the pack, they will move (for some reason running in a pack gives the illusion of speed and they never seem to think that anyone could ever run faster than them). I also learned that if you are facing them head on and play chicken, they will give. (I decided that I would move over to my side and look straight ahead but I would not move, even if it resulted in a collision…I won.)

5. My kids do not wake up if I sneak in their room at night to put the laundry away. This makes me very happy. For some reason I can never seem to get the laundry put away while they are up, thus resulting in an overflowing basket of clean clothes.

6. 30 Rock and The Office were both tied for my favorite show, but 30 Rock is now in the lead.

7. ALWAYS look behind you before, ahem, passing gas while running or it might result in an embarrassing moment. (unless of course The Pack Runners are behind you, then by all means….)

What did you learn this week?