Belt It Out
July 31, 2009
For a chunk of time in college Mary Chapin Carpenter’s “I’ll Take My Chances” was my roll down my windows, smoke a cigarette and sing at the top of my lungs song. Thinking about my bra dilemma made me feel so practical and boring and predictable. I really don’t want to become that mom in mom jeans that doesn’t know she is in mom jeans. You know who I am talking about. I am not saying I wish I was in college again, actually there is nothing I would change about my current life. It is a personal issue. I need to take more chances. I need to race (even though the thought makes me want to go diarrhea), I need to wear my favorite white tank top even though it will get slimmed. If I have learned anything through moving 500 million times, it is: nothing has to be permanent. And if I have learned anything since having kids: the only thing that is certain is that time will not stand still. I don’t get to redo my day or my last hour, but I can make it count. I can be at the park with kids attacking me and know I have on a hot pink bra with black polka dots.
The other day I popped Mary into my CD player rolled down my minivan windows (only the front ones of course), wished I was smoking (I am much to responsible for that these days), but I still belted it out (with Scott laughing and Nate screaming in the background). It felt so good.
Kiki- My obsession with Kristin Armstrong
April 29, 2009
I have a slight obsession with Kristin Armstrong. I think she is wonderful. No, I have never actually met her, but if I lived near her (Austin, TX) I would definitely stalk her. Not in a scary stalker way, but in a if-she-would-just-get-to-know-me-we-could-be-friends kind of way (I know, still creepy, so I guess it is best that I don’t live by her after all….). She has an amazing running blog that is about so so so much more than just running. She also has an incredible book.
I really could dedicate an entire blog to the ways that each of her blogs speak to me, but again with the creepy stalker profile…. Anyways, one of her points in her latest post is finding and pursuing your passion. Which (as her writing always does) spoke right to me. I have been wondering a lot lately what my passion is. I know right now I am wrapped up in being a mom, but I don’t want to become a woman whose identity is so tied to her kids that she forgets who she is and looks in the mirror eighteen years later and doesn’t recognize herself. I love running, but, let’s be honest, I don’t have the time, energy, or desire to train and travel to races right now. I consider myself lucky to get my goal of four runs a week in. I would love to volunteer, but have had a hard time finding something I can do with kids and getting a volunteer coordinator to call me back in general (Gervase if you by some chance are reading this, please call me back, I would love to bring toys home to wash them…) I have tried scrap booking. No, thanks. I have tried getting crafty. Not so much. I am searching.
I feel like I used to know myself better. Pre kids and even pre marriage, when I got to be completely selfish. When I got to pursue my desires on a whim, with out coordinating schedules or feeling guilty for not being home. When I didn’t have to use my “free” time to simply have coffee with a friend. Aaahh, the days of ordering whatever I want at a restaurant with out having to think about splitting it with Scott. Having kids is one of the best decisions I have ever made, but I think I need to start making an extra effort to get to know myself again. I have a couple of passionate ideas, we’ll see…
What are your passions and how do you pursue them? (this is not a rhetorical question, I really would love to know how other people make it happen!)